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snow

i walked out with the dog
into the snow
and it blew into me
stuck to me
an angel
a weapon
sticking, like memory
falling into the ground and disappearing
like a dozen memories
i would not have believed could even be
remembered
and i saw myself as i was
and did not try to understand
but saw the snow falling
disappearing into the ground
like my mother
and felt her and the snowsuit around me
the blue snowsuit
felt that strange kind of pleasant pain
the sharpness gives
sun was a dull yellow circle
obscured as it blew across
and i tried to hold onto these words
felt them stick and knew them safe
and how i wished the children were there
to tell my story to
my story
that disappeared into the ground
with her
and i wished you were there
to tell
i don't know why
and it blew into me
alone again
"...alone in the snow, alone at school,
from that day to this a willing fool."
Ah, do you know how it blew into me?