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iTom 1.0: And So It Begins by Tom Smith

Released on Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
More lyrics from iTom 1.0: And So It BeginsI Want My Flying Car, Blue Screen of Death, Death By Wubbie, Pluto, or The Old God Laments, Mythical Frederick, Destroyer of Worlds, Hey, It's Can(n)on, Waterboardin', The Coin-Flip Universe, Lars Needs Women, Coulrophobia, The Here and Now (Intro), The Here and Now,

Can't Get The File To Play Lyrics (by Tom Smith)

I got myself a new music file,
A song I've wanted for quite a while,
I load it into my computer's player,
Then proceed to tear out my hair.

'Cause the file don't want to load,
And then it asks for an access code,
Something 'bout digital management rights,
What's with all these blinking lights?

I can't get, no, I can't get,
Can't get the file to play,
I can't get, no, I can't get,
Can't get the file to play.

I just want to hear the stupid song,
Maybe the (INSERT TECH) went wrong,
Or am I missing (YOUR TECH NAMED HERE),
I thought I upgraded just last year.

I found a program, its web page swore
It'd play everything and more,
But I let loose an abhorrent scream,
I couldn't get a Bittorrent stream,

I can't get, no, I can't get,
(Windows media couldn't be greedier)
Can't get the file to play-ay,
(Quicktime is slow today)
I can't get, no, I can't get, I
(And Music Match has only one catch, it)
Can't get the file to play.

I can't get, no, I can't get, I
(Winamp's a wimp and Real Player simply)
Can't get the file to play-ay,
(locks up and fades away)
I can't get, no, I can't get, I
(Wanted to Shoutcast, iTuned it out)
Can't get the file to play.

They say the definition of insanity,
Is repeating actions thinking they'll end differently.
I must not have a player program worth its salt,
'Cause there's no chance it might be the file's fault.

I spent two days on the Internet,
Downloading every codec I could get,
Thirty-seven DivX versions, all unique,
File types that won't exist until next week.

A hundred reboots later, I'm done,
'Cause nothing helps the damn thing run,
You know, it just makes me want to scream,
I only want to hear the Spongebob theme.

I can't get, can't get,
Can't get the file to play-ay,
I can't get, no, I can't get,
I can't get the file to play.

Then came a day when I found some smut,
The best file description ever, but,
Every single time I tried,
I got a blue screen and a kitten died.

I got the file but it took a week,
I hit the play button and I freaked,
Instead of Sluts Gone Wild 7,
It's a Portuguese episode of Seventh Heaven.

I can't get, can't get,
(I feel the hate of using Creative)
Can't get the file to play-ay,
(Roxio, go away)
I can't get, no, I can't get, I
(And Quintessential makes me go mental)
Can't get the file to play.

No, no, I
Can't get, no, I can't get,
(Ace is disgraceful, Core is a bore)
Can't get the file to play-ay,
(And Media Monkey is gay)
I can't get, no, I can't get, I
(I lost my temper, working with MPlayer)
Can't get the file to play.


Buy track Can't Get The File To Play directly from Tom Smith (via Bandcamp).