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Debasement Tapes by Tom Smith

Released on Monday, May 24th, 1999
More lyrics from Debasement TapesFive Years, Callisto, Alien Adventures, Honey-Glazed Ham, (Min)Barrette, Be Our GOH, Seven Drunken Nights In Space, ConValescence, Sonuva, Instant Clinton (Just Add Whitewater), Barenaked Cockburn, Filk In The Blanks, On The PC, PC 99, Death Sheep 8, Time Plot, Telly Taley Heart, 500 Hats, Smurfin' Safari,

Dammit, They're Felt and Legumes Lyrics (by Tom Smith)

(... Two, three, four, get 'em at your local store!)

Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, ba-domp-pom-pom-pom-pomp.

She was at lunch, and she went to McDonald's,
To get a nice Quarter Pounder with Cheese,
But as she stood in the line at McDonald's,
A mob of moms chopped her off at the knees.
(Two, three, four, feel the rumble, hear the roar!)

They... were... all...
Frothing at the mouth with rabies, wanting teeny Beanie Babies,
That were sold with each kid's Happy Meal,
So many colors, lotsa shape-ies, eeny meeny Beanie Babies,
And soon her toes she once more could feel.
(Two, three, four, help the woman off the floor!)

Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, ba-domp-pom-pom-pom-pomp.

So, if you like to have lunch at McDonald's,
Order early, by phone or by fax,
Or else the army of cute toy collectors
Will stomp a path over your broken backs.
(Two, three, four, of course you know that this means war!)

Your... jaw... will...
Drop in disbelief the way these people hunt down Beanie Babies,
Going postal for things with no use.
I guess we should be glad, 'cause maybe next time they'll be BARNEY Babies,
Or maybe Cabbage Patch Couscous!

Buy track Dammit, They're Felt and Legumes directly from Tom Smith (via Bandcamp).