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The Last Hero On Earth by Tom Smith

Released on Thursday, May 25th, 2006
More lyrics from The Last Hero On EarthWhat If, Mad Scientists United, The Sinister Cavortings of Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins III, Warning: Wimbledon!, The Sinister Sixty Strike, Enter The Waffle, You Never Call Me By My Real Name, Boulevard of Broken Genes, Tears of the Kill-O-Tron, Pirate Ninjas From Dino Island, The Romance of George and Al, A Million Light Years From Love, Divided Royalties, Behold the Crossing Guard, When Strikes the Clock, Rules of Enragement, Hey! Didn't You Die?, The Rise and Fall of Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins III, With Great Power Comes Great Power Bills,

The Terror of Sis Boom Ba Lyrics (by Tom Smith)

WAFFLE
If I had not already been beaten up by robots
Or teleported offworld, I'd think I whacked my skull.
Lemme check: Some ninja pirates with dinosaurs for mascots
Have a gorgeous kidnapped princess. Well, this party won't be dull.

PIRATES
Sis Boom Ba! Sis Boom Ba!
Sis Boom Ba! Sis Boom Ba!

ALISHAYA
What are you all chanting? Some ritual or charm?

PIRATE CAPTAIN
No, Princess, we're just calling on our favorite little pet.
She's as gentle as a kitten -- that's been armed with plasma rifles --
And today, I'm sad to say, she hasn't had her breakfast yet.

ALISHAYA
... Oh.

PIRATE CAPTAIN
Ah, yer a quick one. For a few more minutes, anyway.

PIRATES
Sis Boom Ba! Sis Boom Ba!

PIRATE CAPTAIN
She's a standard issue monster from a prehistoric time,
Just ignore the thirty tentacles and foul acidic slime.
She's as harmless as a butterfly, but starving her's a crime....

PIRATES
We're feeding you to Sis Boom Ba!

PIRATE CAPTAIN
She's a fifty-foot-long bundle of dismemberment and fun,
And her favorite snack is Princess, served upon a toasted bun,
And princesses in the neighborhood -- well, you're the only one....

PIRATE CAPTAIN, PIRATES
We're feeding you to Sis Boom Ba!

PIRATE CAPTAIN
I can't tell you where she came from, we're not sure where all she's been,
And we cannot tell what kinda beast she be.
All we know is, now and then, the poor girl's lookin' awful thin,
So we has ta go and get some royalty!

She's a evolutionary aberration to the core,
She'd be sweet as any lamb except her taste for blood and gore
And we're telling you about it so you know just what's in store...

PIRATE CAPTAIN, PIRATES
We're feeding you to Sis Boom Ba!

[They throw the Princess onto Sis Boom Ba's altar]

PIRATES
Hey! Who's that swab upon the altar!
What's that gadget that he's got?

WAFFLE
Princess, pull yourself together --
There! I think I've got that knot!
Now let's --

ALISHAYA
Sir! Look out behind you!

WAFFLE
Only time for one good shot --

[*splorch*]

[huge nasty beast gurgles]

PIRATE CAPTAIN
Well, blow me down! She likes it!

WAFFLE, ALISHAYA
Let's get away from Sis Boom Ba!


Buy track The Terror of Sis Boom Ba directly from Tom Smith (via Bandcamp).